A common quirk of peoples communication is to deny a truth that is about to be revealed.
“I’m not superstitious, but…”
(but maybe you are)
“I don’t mean to be rude, but…”
(you’re about to say something rude)
“To be entirely honest…”
(if you’re being honest, why emphasize it?)
“I don’t believe in things like this, but…”
(but you do)
“I’m not racist, but….”
(but what?)
“With all due respect…”
(followed by something that expresses contempt)
“Not that it’s any of my Business, but…”
(if it’s none of your Business, why bring it up?)
The denials are meant to soften the blow of what comes next but often (not always) express the opposite of what follows.
It’s not good or bad, but when you hear such phrases I recommend you take a moment to digest what was actually said. Overuse of “to be honest”, “to be frank”, “if I’m entirely honest”, is a red flag that the person isn’t being honest. An honest statement doesn’t need to be advertised as such.
A lot of people talk on “controversial” topics, such as spiritual/paranormal in a self-effacing tone, which shows they are afraid of being ridiculed for it. “I’m not normally into these kinds of theories, but…”. “I don’t actually buy into this, but…”. “Not that I’m a true believer, but…”. They are not yet at a stage where they OWN their ideas and authentically express them.
In moving from timid to authentic speech, you simply drop the preface, intro or disclaimer and say what you think. The same, by the way, goes for books. Most prefaces and introductions are a waste of the readers time, talking about and justifying what they WILL write instead of just writing it.
Authentic speech gets you closer to your real self.
