I’ve successfully coached dozens of people away from insomnia into deep, peaceful sleep.
The first step is to list all the negative ideas you have about sleep. Nonsense such as
“If I don’t get enough sleep, I won’t function in the daytime”.
“If I take a nap in the daytime, I won’t sleep at night”
“I know I’m going to wake up again tonight”
“I need at least 8 hours of sleep”
“I need to go to the bathroom every night”
“It’s my children’s fault”.
Most insomniacs have a long list of beliefs as these, whether they admit it or not. List them all and replace them with preferable thoughts, such as:
“I can function quite well on less sleep. I stop blaming all my resistances on sleep and am grateful for whatever sleep I get. It’s OK to take naps in the daytime”.
“If I wake up at night, it’s a good opportunity to read, meditate, pray, etc. Who said I need to sleep a certain amount of time?”
These are just examples, your list should be longer.
The second step I have taken students through is to darken the bedroom, rid it of electronics, perhaps change the position of the bed and lower the temperature of the bedroom. Elimination of noise is also a must.
A third step is to monitor sleep behavior every morning for a month or so. Write down when you went to bed, when you got up, how long you slept, how often you woke up and what you did when you woke up. Monitoring patterns of behavior is a good method to regain control of a problem and discover what is actually going on.
A fourth step is to stop giving a damn about how your sleep is or when you sleep. Instead of tossing and turning in your bed, read a book or something. Get a small light that won’t wake up your partner. Once you no longer CARE about your sleep, body and nature can restore your natural sleep cycle unimpeded by the neurotic thoughts of your mind. You wake when you wake and sleep when you sleep. End of story.
A fifth step might be to have a white noise recording near your bedside or similar. White noise tends to help with sleep. There are apps made for babies with white noise but they are also good for adults.
A sixth step could be to relax a turbulent daily life. You don’t have to respond to every email or social media comment. You don’t have to respond to “urgent” requests all the time. You don’t have to watch netflix before going to bed, you could also read a book at the fireplace if you have one. You don’t have to go meet people you don’t like. There are many adjustments that make daily life more tranquil.
A seventh step would be to change your diet so that the body is less active at night. You could stop eating at six and get rid of foods that upset your stomach.
There are more things that can be done, including more sports, but these steps should fix the majority of insomnia.
You’re welcome.
