Generous, abundant, high consciousness values SPACE.
It rejects crowded cities, crowded supermarkets, crowded streets, crowded houses, crowded trains and especially a cluttered mind.
Physical space. Mental space.
My first struggle for space was as a child. We moved into a new house and were assigning rooms. My parents asked me to share a room with my two sisters. I strongly protested, insisting I have my own room. I got it. There I could read and write without distraction. I could arrange furniture as I envisioned. I could have toys around me that I preferred. I could invite friends and talk with them in private.
Early on I saved up for my own property and house. Years later, it was no longer enough for me to have my own land. I wanted an entire floor of the house for myself. I got it. A place where only my energies and thoughts prevailed. And I wanted a parking place large enough to comfortably park. And a car large enough to stretch out.
If you’ve ever visited a mansion, you’ll notice the high ceilings. Wealthy people love space. You’ll notice that furniture is further apart. You might even dine with plenty of space in between.
I wanted to live in the country because I want space to drive. Space to speed. Space to walk. Space to breathe.
When on vacation, my favorite places are those without tourists. Spacious, endless land. I lived in New Zealand for 8 years because there’s so much space there. A whole beach for myself. Endless pasture, uninterrupted by chain hotels or cities.
Crowds = low vibe. Any sentient, conscious person is uncomfortable with it. I went to the DMV and every single space was occupied by several people crowded into a small room. Airplanes are filled to the absolute brim because airlines are stingy. They’ll sell last minute tickets for $20 just to fill free seats. This is cheap thinking, not generous thinking.
“Let’s buy more furniture” my wife tells me. I say “I’ll only buy a piece of furniture if we first sell a piece. I don’t wish to crowd every inch of the house”. I’ve felt bad when I book seminar rooms that are too crowded. It will not happen again, I wish to have seminar rooms that are three times as big as need be. So people have space to move, to feel themselves, to expand.
If someone is talking too much, I ask them to stop to give me time to digest what they have said. Some people crowd the mental space by jumping from one story to another. Can we just give it a minute and reflect on what was just said? A little breather? I’d like to think about this story you shared, before you share the next one.
My tolerance of noise intruding on my house is low. Sound happens within space. And if I hear your music in my house, you are intruding on my space. I won’t allow it.
People in some cultures come too close to my body when they talk. I don’t want them to be so close that I smell their breathe. Keep distance, don’t intrude on my space. I don’t have an open-borders policy.
Setting Boundaries creates space. I have a whole workshop on my website with the same name. A lot of complete strangers think they can send me emails on a regular basis. I’ve set boundaries by having them auto-relayed to spam or to an assistant. Folks get offended.
I don’t care. It’s my space and my time. If I were to answer every email in my inbox I’d be sitting online all day and never produce anything of value.
If someone lies to me more than a few times, I cut them out of my life because their behavior intrudes on my mental space. Mental space can only be defended by clear boundaries.
Animals know about space. My cat has marked her territory and won’t tolerate other cats in our garden.
By now, I’ve created the space I wanted in all areas of my life. My life is spacious, peaceful, fun and deliberate.
It took me 50 years to master space (and time, which is linked to space).
You can start right where you are. You can start small. If you’re crowded into a room with a person you don’t like, you can define which part of that room is yours, holding only your belongings. It’s a small start but it makes a difference. If your spouse always dominates the space with talking, gesturing, spreading herself or himself out, you can reclaim some of that space by saying “Now it’s my turn to talk” or “I’m going to choose what we do today, you’ve chosen the last ten times”. If you’re in a small office cubicle, you can ask for your own office room. Etc. You have to start somewhere. If you feel the need to answer everything in your crowded inbox, you can relegate most of it to spam. Create SPACE.
Why? Because space = power.
It would be nice if you could someday buy your own land or even your own island. A place where you can develop your own vision of how life can be. You cannot create your own lifestyle if you’re continually intruded upon by others.
Is there enough space for everyone on Earth? Do we have enough room so that every single one of the 8 Billion people can have their own property? Or are we overpopulated? I believe there is enough space for everyone, but only very few CLAIM space.
My attitude is not isolationist. I have a much easier time interacting with people because I am COMING FROM Space. It’s much easier to interact if you’re not forced to interact. City-people are socially a little colder because they are forced to interact every day.
A part of mental space is also granting others space. If you’ve created spaciousness for yourself and a place where you can be for yourself, you become much more tolerant of others space and time and quirks and habits. “Do whatever you like – in YOUR space”.
