Tipping in the U.S. = bad vibe.
I’ve lived in several other countries. There, tipping = good vibe.
I’ve lived in the U.S. of the 1970s and 80s. There, tipping = good vibe.
In those times, tipping arose from genuine appreciation. You felt the sincerity and extra-effort of a service staffer. You had a good time. So you left a tip. If the service was normal (not even bad, just normal), you left no tip.
In most modern U.S. service-situations, a screen is asking you to leave a tip before the service was even provided. I order food. I’m asked to pre-pay and leave a tip. I haven’t even received food yet. I’ve received nothing except someone taking my order. What’s special about it? Why should I leave a tip?
“Well duh, because we depend on it. We can no longer afford a living from our wages and without tips we starve to death”.
But that’s tugging at pity, not appreciation. Not a good vibe. Why is it my problem that you chose a job that doesn’t pay well?
Question: If I leave no tip before the service is provided, will you provide bad service to punish me?
See the problem? The need for effort is placed with the paying customer instead of service staff.
You may think I’m making a mountain out of a molehill, but “American” daily life is filled with these little dystopian reversals. In accumulation, they matter.
Tipping culture was originally designed to get people to talk to each other, to get service members inspired to up their game. Not to create resentment in both customer and vendor.
I still tip anyway, in spite of the system. But before I tip, I take a moment to find something to appreciate about the person in front of me.
Because generosity combined with appreciation is a magical prosperity generator for all involved.
