The world tends to underestimates the power of kindness and overestimate the power of cruelty, anger, force and violence...qualities which actually lack power and weaken a person. We are generally afraid of cruel and unkind people, not realizing that kindness can completely obliterate, vanish, dissolve any sort of negative influence. In some respects we have been conditioned to underestimate kindness and overestimate force and cruelty. The subconscious cannot tell the difference between what you see on TV, what you visualize in your mind and what you see in daily life.
It's all just "experiences" to the inner child. Since most movies primarily advertise aggression as a way to solve problems, most peoples subconscious has not only been traumatized and desensitized, but accepted the idea that kindness is nothing but ineffective weakness.
The dictionary defines Kindness as the quality of being friendly, generous or considerate
. It is related to Empathy
, which is the ability to connect with and understand how other people feel. Its brothers and sisters are forgiveness, gratitude, and appreciation
In reality, Kindness is more powerful than any type of magic, persuasion, marketing or hard labor
. Simple acts of kindness and care will generate more money for you than endless hours of hard work. Softening your heart will help you perceive truth and reality more easily than if your empathy were dulled and desensitized. It will disarm enemies and those who have ill intentions toward you. An adversary might be superior in his army, his technology and his wealth, but the spiritual quality of kindness can easily supersede all material strength. It generates an energy-field in which cynicism, snide remarks, criticism and grim seriousness and even hardship, melt away as fast as ice-cream in a furnace.
Some who are kind-hearted, think they'll be taken advantage of
if they are too soft, tolerant and forgiving. But kindness does not mean being naive, ignoring problems, doing nothing about peoples misdeeds or approving of ill-intentions. People who ignore problems are not being kind, they are afraid of confronting reality. Facing the issues, handling them and still being of generous heart - that's kindness.
A kind heart sees all
life situations as inherently valuable, understands that humans are generally fallible and imperfect and offers a helping hand rather than resentment. Resentment builds a hard stone in your heart that damages your immune system and clouds your ability to think and see clearly. True Kindness can say "No" to the negative, but from a place
of forgiveness and understanding.
People are fuzzy on the distinction between being authentic vs being imposing on others, so I'll clarify the difference here: Being true to your feelings and clearly expressing your views, opinions, thoughts, desires and needs is NOT being imposing on others. You have the right to express yourself. You have the right to stand for something. You have the right to follow your values and whats good for you. You have the right to praise or criticize. When you express yourself fully (and without anger or as a statement of extortion), you are not being imposing. Imposition begins when you try to change what others are thinking, saying or doing. That's when the line is crossed to being imposing. You can be fully yourself without needing to change others. Others will either agree or disagree with who you are, but that is nothing for you to change, thats their responsibility. With this formula you should have no more communication problems with anyone.
Experiment: Make a critical remark about someone with a tone of disapproval or anger. See how they react. At another time, make a critical remark in a mood and tone of kindness and without intention to change the person, simply as a statement of preference. One might sound like this: "I don't like X about you. You better stop X, otherwise I am going to quit working with you!". The kind version may sound like this: "I don't like X, I prefer Y. I'd like to do it the Y way, you'd like to do the X way. How can we find a solution?". In which of these communication-modes are you more likely to have another act as you prefer? Well, if the other is afraid of you or somehow dependent on you, then they will do what you say, no matter how you say it. But with the anger-fear version, they will build subconscious resentment toward you that will one day backfire. Management-by-Fear may be more effective short-term, but it fails in the long run. Management-by-Kindness is always smarter. This is especially true with high-consciousness, non-fear people, or your professional equals and superiors, who will laugh at your attempt to bully or force them.
How and why do people become unkind? It is usually because they themselves have been treated unkind. The abuser was likely himself abused at an earlier point in life. So rather than being the victim of abuse, it feels better to be the abuser. Being unkind and abusive is a method to overcome victim-hood. And it actually works to some extent, but that is still so much weaker than kindness. On a scale of energy from 1 to 10 (see my book "Levels of Energy"), the levels of strength look something like this:
2 Victim of Unkindness or Abuse
3 Abusive or Unkind Person
Why settle for one level higher, if you can jump several levels?
Kindness can manifest in lending a hand, in giving support and in taking care. But this should never be to your own detriment. That's not kindness, it's energy depletion that usually grows from guilt. So rather than being loving and caring in order to share from your own abundance, you are caring for others out of pity and guilt. The former creates healing, the latter creates subconscious resentment in both parties. In order not to fall into the trap, remember that kindness also includes kindness to yourself
...including your own time, space and emotions. People often speak of the "sacrifice" they made for others. But if they complain about their sacrifice later or blame the other for not reciprocating, it was not really a "sacrifice" but a "giving with strings attached". Kindness gives without strings attached or not at all.
So cut yourself some slack. Cut others some slack. But dont slack off. Rather than softness of heart making you weak and vulnerable, it will make you stronger, more popular, and more beautiful than ever because of the tangible energy field it creates around you. It is actually abusive behavior that makes you weak and vulnerable. Many dont understand that unkind people are not actually strong, they are in a state of weakness. They may appear strong, but they aren't. The soft side always wins because it resists nothing, so nothing can harm it
Commit random acts of kindness every day. Look at your day by how kind you were, for that is a successful day.
One of the most common errors of the Ego is to believe that violence and evil can be conquered through violence and evil. Any deep examination of History will reveal that violent revolutions worked temporarily, never permanently. Directly attacking an enemy eventually begets a counter-attack. Non-violent revolutions
and non-angry revolutions on the other hand, that come about after raising consciousness and vibration, work permanently
. Look for example, at the permanent change created through the peaceful, high-vibe approach of Martin Luther King, vs. the regression created by violent protesters. Or the peaceful power-transition facilitated by Ghandi, vs. what violent revolutionaries created before him (nothing). The Negative on Planet Earth is not overcome through and violent upheavals, but through every individual raising his own awareness of how reality works and increasing his own field of kindness.