Me and my wife have a phrase we tease each other with when one of us complains about something:
“Do you feel inconvenienced by that?”
It makes me chuckle, revealing my entitled, spoiled or ungrateful attitude that’s then quickly released. “Damn, my student cancelled the meeting last minute. I’ve wasted two hours driving in this traffic jam!” – “Fred, do you feel inconvenienced by that?” 🙂
Another phrase I use, with the same purpose is: “Rich people problems”. Another one is: “Did you asked the tree what it thinks about your issue?”
You might think these phrases dismissive or curt, but I like them because I don’t like to get into too much complaining. A little bit is fine, but when it gets too much, it drags down the energy.
Do you believe there is a very good reason for everything?
It’s either that or a lot of feeling offended.
Some time ago there were two comments on one of my posts. I responded to one comment and not to the other. How dare I! That made someone very angry. This woman called me a “sexist” because I hadn’t replied to her. But when I chose not to reply, I didn’t even know she’s a woman.
There are hundreds of good reasons I don’t reply, but she chose to invent a reason that helped her feel like a victim. Maybe I didn’t see the comment. Maybe I didn’t know the answer. Or maybe the answer can easily be found online with the click of a button.
In this case, the person I had replied to, I knew personally. He had been to my house and paid me a staggering amount of money for a couple of days of Coaching. He is a quick learner and a humorous personality. He had also gone through the trouble of traveling an enormous distance to see me.
Don’t you think he might just deserve a response from me? I certainly thought so.
The offended person knew none of these things. She was viewing the situation through a “man vs. woman” lens, where she ended up as victim. I had never seen her before. She appeared out of nowhere and asked a very basic question on “how to make intentions” – something I’ve addressed in dozens of videos, books and audios of mine, most famously my book “The Reality Creation Technique”. Not only had this person not invested any time, money or travel difficulties to learn something but she wasn’t familiar with the fact that ALL of my work is around making intentions. I chose not to respond because I don’t like lazy questions by complete strangers who feel entitled to my time and attention without investing their own. I prefer thoughtful questions. And I prefer even more the people who look inside and find their own answers.
Do you believe there is a very good reason for everything?
It’s either that or a lot of feeling offended.
People are too quick to judge without knowing the whole story.
I had a student over. He saw my house and car and said “That’s not very humble for a spiritual teacher“.
I took a breathe and responded, as gently as I could: It’s very humble. He laughed, thinking I’m joking. I said: “Being humble means living way below ones means. Would you agree?” He agreed. I said nothing more. A flicker of surprise went through his eyes.
When he was judging me he didn’t see the whole story. My house and car cost way less than I could afford. That’s because I prefer simplicity to ostentatious displays. On the other hand, I don’t like a bunch of money sitting in a bank, so I put it into property. The judgmental student did not consider any of that.
I’ve also been confronted with the opposite judgement: “Man, I expected you could afford more“. People will judge, no matter what. Don’t worry about their judgment, they only see a tiny part of the whole picture.
It is precisely for this reason that I like to reserve judgement about anything until I collect a couple of different viewpoints and contrary data. If I jump to conclusions too quickly, I’ll later roll my eyes at how stupid I was to believe a thing.
Reserving judgement for later will make you much, much smarter.
It will also allow the truth to reveal itself. And it will make you calmer:
I went kayaking recently. We were using a partner kayak. My wife had taken a break from kayaking for 15 minutes. When I decided to take a break for 5 minutes and let her row the kayak, quickly a passerby judged the situation. He said to my wife: “You are letting a man rest on all your work! Not a good idea!” Can you see how stupid quick judgement can make a person look?
Notice how, every time any event happens and is shown in the news, you already have a few Billion people drawing conclusions about what it means and what’s going on. It’s idiotic.
About a week ago, I posted something on my Telegram Channel about 608 Food suppliers burning down from 2021 to 2022. Pretty sure that’s no coincidence. Every commenter automatically assumed that this was something “bad” happening. I had not made judgement, I just posted the facts. Is it really “bad”? Plot twist: Suppose your food has been poisoned and the plants are now being burned down to liberate you from the poison. Then, it would be something “good”, wouldn’t it. I’m not saying this is what I “believe”. I wouldn’t judge or believe anything until having enough relevant facts. All would be more pleasant if you…
First Observe.
Don’t be too quick to judge the things happening in your life or “the world”. Not every negative event is bad and not every positive event is good. If you got fired from your job that doesn’t have to be “bad”. It could be the one thing that propels you to greater financial freedom than you ever imagined. And if you found a job quickly, that doesn’t necessarily have to be good. It could be the beginning of boredom. I’ve heard of peoples cars breaking down – saving them from an airplane crash.
I’m not saying not to judge at all. I’m saying, take your time to examine many aspects before you judge. Don’t take everything at face value. Not all is as it seems. There’s a good reason for everything. That’s the empowering thought.
You cut off the stream of goodness while you are offended. Taking offense assumes you are being personally attacked. You make it about yourself.
There is no limit to the reasons one could take offense. But you can consciously practice refraining from offense. Look closely at what “being offended” does inside your body and being. You feel victimized. You wish to get back at someone. Much time and attention is wasted on being offended.
Being too easily offended is a major issue in society, sucking away at peoples energy. List some complaints and offenses you’ve experienced in recent weeks:
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Now, with a smirk on your face, ask yourself: Do you feel inconvenienced by that, honey?
LOL.
It’s funny because only the Ego-Self feels inconvenienced. The Ego-Self has limited time. So it feels impatient, pressured. The Soul has unlimited time and eternal life. So the soul stays patient and unoffended.