If your eyes meet with another’s, you’re making a connection. If you evade their eyes, you’re not making a connection. If you wish to avoid connecting, don’t look. If you wish to connect, look. If they don’t want to connect, they won’t look back. Move on. It’s as simple as that.
In some cases, people are too shy to look. In this case, you make connecting easier by addressing something they are currently focused on. If they are looking at the sunset, mention the beautiful sunset. If they are talking about XYZ, also talk about XYZ.
Another way to ease into connection is by asking easy-to-answer, open-ended questions (questions that can’t be answered with yes/no or terse responses).
But most of the time just looking vs. avoiding to look can regulate your entire spectrum of who you do and don’t connect to. If you’re in a good, relaxed state (non-expectant, non-desiring, non-resisting) a simple look or a “Hi” is enough to get started.
