Success without Strings Attached

Every person, place or thing has a hidden side

Frederick Dodson

Frederick Dodson

The last Live Course I did before global lockdown was 2019, Levels of Energy in Dallas, Texas (recorded on Video, first two days available here). There is a scene from that event I recall the most:

I was talking about how everything has a hidden side, a shadow, a subconscious. Then I got an idea. “Even this Building has a shadow. Let’s have a look at the hidden side of this company”. On the outside, our seminar location was a friendly and clean place. “Even this friendly company has a subconscious. That’s the part it hides from the public”.

So I walked over to a door I hadn’t previously opened. It led to a storage room and boy was it chaotic! Unrelated objects were piled up on each other. Some ancient piano, an old slide-projector (like the ones we haven’t used in 30 years), dusty chairs, flip-charts, general garbage. It looked like a hoarders garage.

And there was another door “that will lead us into even deeper levels of their subconscious“, I said. “Should we open it?” The whole group yelled “Yes!”. Emotionally healthy people are immensely curious. Apathetic people have no curiosity. Curiosity did not kill the cat. Apathy did.

The second door opened to a staircase. It was filthy like it hadn’t been swept in years. Paint was chipping off of the spider-webbed walls. Gum wrappers and soda cans were in a state of decay. “This is the shadow side of this company, the part they won’t show to the public. Apparently they won’t even show it to themselves”.

I know what some of you are thinking: Does that mean this company has some unresolved issues?  It sure does! There might be organizational conflicts or disagreements between members or an apathetic manager or something else going on.

I mean no disrespect to that company, by the way – we all have a shadow. Every one of us. The shed in my garden represents my subconscious and it also needs some tidying up! It’s got tools lying around unorderly, plastic bags full of other plastic bags (don’t we all have those?), loads of dusty unused furniture. This article inspires me to clear it all out in the coming week!

I know what some of you are thinking: Will de-cluttering my shed, free something up in my life? It sure will! The shed, that no visitor to my House sees, represents by subconscious. “Unused dusty furniture” means that I have assets within myself that I am not using. Selling that furniture or giving it away, means someone will benefit and I will feel lighter.

Every person has a public face, a private face and a true self. The public self is what I call “social mask” in my book Levels of Energy. It is more or less authentic. The private face, which you show to close friends and family, is usually more authentic. And the true self is 100% authentic. It’s who you are when nobody is watching. An integrated, mature person does not have a large distance between private and public self. Sure, there are always things that are better kept private. When a spiritual teacher speaks, nobody wants to hear about his sexual activities or his bowel movements (TMI), they come to hear about his views on Spirituality. If the speaker is authentic, the difference between private and public manner will not be that big. The tone and expression will be similar.

There is a fine line between being authentic and being crude, impolite or inappropriate. Learn the difference. If most people in the world were authentic without shame, it would put comedians out of Business. Much of comedy relies on expressing the thoughts of the private self. We laugh because we know it’s true, but nobody dares say it.

If you wish to live in a more honest world, you must show more of yourself first. You cannot keep your own being in hiding and expect the world to be transparent and open. That’s not how it works.

Here’s the self-empowering point this article has led up to: Looking at a person, company, place, thing I am not only looking at the public face, I am also looking at what is not being shown. The public side is what is seen, the private or subconscious side is what is felt. That’s why you can’t hide anything from intuitive people for long. Luckily, intuitive people aren’t that judgmental. If they were judgmental, they couldn’t be intuitive, because intuition means receiving information from beyond the filters of judgment. Not being judgmental, they are not easily offended (the easily offended pretend to be non-judgmental). Instead of taking offense, they feel compassion.

Your communication is not only about what is being said, it’s also about what is not being said. When a person is hiding too much or the contrast between public and private identity is too large, you get a “creepy vibe” about the person. That “icky vibe” points to incongruency. You don’t quite know what’s wrong, you just know something is off. That’s why I sometimes find it difficult watching politicians talk. It’s nauseating to hear them say one thing, while I feel another.

Many people even feel there is “something wrong with the world” but they can’t quite pinpoint what it is, so they come up with all kinds of strange theories. There is an incongruency between what you are being told and what is actually happening, between what you are seeing and being shown, and what is felt. But the good news is: The more real you become within, the more you awaken to how the world really works. The world and universe are much more amazing than most people think. 99% of all people are in for a real treat. The more real you get, the more weird the world gets. 

Knowing that there is always a shadow and that the shadow is almost always hidden is a helpful tool. If you see a person over-emphasizing one thing, you know that the opposite of that is their shadow. If you can clear out all subconscious stuff and have nothing more to hide, you no longer have a shadow. You are then an en-light-ened Being. One of the methods of clearing out the hidden self is to confess to your shortcomings, mistakes, actions driven by fear and anger. And if you are not ready to confess to others, even just confessing it to yourself (by writing it all out on paper, for example) brings it up out of the subconscious and into the open. If you stop wiping the dirt under the rug, you can actually clean it up. You can make amends or you can pivot your focus to the preferred behavior. If you have someone hear your confession, that person should be trustworthy and mature enough not to use it against you.

People who always find fault with others, are hiding faults of their own. People who always express virtue, are hiding wrongdoings. Knowing this, you can always see the hidden side of any person or company and help them integrate it. Integration leads to Integrity.

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