20 harmful half-truths new-agers believe
These are popular ‘half-truths’ believed by a lot of people in the “new age”, “self-improvement”, “law of attraction”, “human potential” circuit. I’d know because I’ve been a part of it for the last decades.
1. “You have to be here now”
Watered down from Eastern Religions and popularized in books like “The Power of Now” this saying is misused to suppresses future-planning (linked to high intelligence), goals (required for inner growth), imagination (required for the development of consciousness) and anything else outside of the immediate and obvious.
Yes, tuning into the present moment has a grounding and empowering effect. But present-moment-attention
is only one awareness mode of many. Tuning-out of the present is not a “problem” when done consciously.
You have the power to tune into past scenes, future scenes and remote view other places. And these things happen in the now. In reality, there is no such thing as “the now”. Consciousness exists outside of time and by the time you try to define “the now”, it has already passed.
At a more practical level, you can’t be anywhere else than “here now”, so imploring someone to “be here now” is nonsensical. Nobody has ever been anywhere else than “here now”. See my free video “Tuning in and Out” to explore different modes of awareness.
2. “That’s only your belief”
“It’s all in the mind” is not true. Many things are in the mind, but not all of them. It’s a half-truth. Your subjective reality is assembled by your beliefs and forms perception and what you radiate outwards.
But the reality experienced by other people exists regardless of your beliefs. If you quit believing in the Universe it doesn’t make the universe go away.
“It’s only your belief” may or may not be true, but it’s usually the wrong way to tell someone. If someone has
been violently abused, you don’t go and say “It’s only your belief” because it’s rude. You don’t say “It only happened cuz they believed it. There are no victims”, which is really so much new-age nonsense. A child does not have agency over the mind like an adult might have (though many adults don’t control their minds either). To imply that a child deliberately intended to be abused
is not true.
Yes, the truth is that you do keep seeing confirmation for the things you believe. Yes, you do tend to attract into your life what you believe is possible.
However, not everything that happens happens because you believed it. There is some randomness thrown in. There are subconscious beliefs. There are things created by others that you had no part in. And finally, there are things that are playing out on Earth that were put in motion long before you were here. “That’s only your belief” can work in the right context, but not as an absolute statement.
3. “Thoughts manifest, so don’t focus on the negative”
Another half-truth. A researcher who looks into crimes, for example, is looking into stuff that already manifested, it’s not the researcher who is manifesting it.
By focusing on it I was shining a light on what is already hidden and tucked away.
This is similar to shining light on a person’s subconscious beliefs, to bring them up before pivoting to preferred realities. If you don’t acknowledge what’s already there, you can’t shift to what you want instead.
Secondly, focusing on the negative does not manifest it unless you have the intention that it does, usually followed by action. I’ve explained this in my books in great detail.
Focusing with the intention of research and uncovering is a positive act. It’s good to balance research into negative matters with the positive, because prolonged focus does in fact leave an energetic residue in your field. But we’re talking about hours and days of focus, not a mere thought or article. In other words, it’s not true that the “negative” has this awesome power over you.
4. “Don’t have doubts!”
Whether this is a good thing to say, once again depends on the context. To use it as a generalized statement it’s not smart.
The other day I sat meditating at a waterfall. In the distance I observed a group of teenagers readying themselves to jump off of a high cliff into the water. They stood there for 30 minutes before the first one jumped, discussing, examining, doubting. I was VERY glad they were having doubts because the area was extremely dangerous.
Good things their parents weren’t watching! The water was full of large, jagged rocks. Falling at the wrong place could kill you. Not jumping out far enough would cause you to land on rock instead of in water. It took a full hour for the group of approx. 10 teenagers to jump, with some still fearful to the very end.
Doubt allowed them to identify a place where it was safe to jump into. They all succeeded without injury. Doubts are weighed with intentions. Once the intention is bigger than the doubt, body-and-mind will follow through. In this sense saying “don’t have doubts” sounds psychopathic to me.
5. “Suffering is to teach you a lesson”
This statement is true, but the way it is used often turns it into a half-truth. Add this to make it true:
“But once the lesson is learned you don’t need to suffer anymore”.
Continued suffering is not necessary and not the plan for humanity. Continued suffering points toward false beliefs or false action coupled with blaming someone other than one’s own beliefs and actions. Through right thinking and acting, suffering is overcome.
6. “Only love can save the world!”
This is true but again, the way it’s used often turns it into a half-truth. To put it mildly, how you feel makes little difference in other people’s lives. Love is best expressed through actions, not only feelings. It’s good you feel love because it makes loving action more likely. But the feeling of love in and of itself does not change the world. Being a loving person and acting upon that, changes the world.
And sometimes – if a person is at a lower level of consciousness – then only pain and fear can get them to act. Have you ever noticed how some people only move when the going gets rough? But once you reach a higher state in your development, you no longer need pain to grow.
7. “You must pay off Karma”.
Yes, what goes around comes around. Yes, what you put out, you eventually get back. But if this were the only universal law, most people would be in dire trouble, we’d have hell on Earth.
Beyond Karma, there is always the forgiveness option. I can forgive you. Then you don’t have to make amends, don’t have to pay back, don’t have to work off Karma. You are free.
Yes, making amends restores dignity in the person making them. But it’s not an absolute law. Jesus is the best example of blanket forgiveness for undeserving people.”All your sins are forgiven, for no reason”. Why? Because otherwise, the karmic debt is too high. The same applies to monetary debt. Yes, we want someone to pay back their debt. We don’t want to loan them more than they can pay back. But, as “like attracts like”, sometimes the debt becomes so high it’s impossible to pay back. Then, our compassionate side says “OK, I relieve you of your debt”.
Having only the law of Karma and nothing else, is cruel in a world as ignorant as our own.
8. “Get rid of the Ego”
The Ego often stands in the way of freedom, fun, love. But that doesn’t mean you need to get rid of it. Use it for its intended purpose, which is to keep focus on survival in this realm and to experience yourself as a distinct individual. It’s a tool, not your enemy. You’re the Boss. The problem starts when people think they ARE the Ego or they ARE the mind, instead of the Boss of Ego and Mind.
9. “There is no right or wrong”
If someone tells you “there is no right or wrong” or “whatever is true for you, is true” then take away their wallet. If they protest, feed their statement back to them.
“There is no right or wrong”.
“It’s only your belief that your money was stolen. That’s only true for you”.
That’ll teach them to make absolute statements that attempt to dismiss the absolute.
10. “Don’t judge”
Many think Judgement is bad. Yes, judgemental people can be a nuisance because they are quick to judge before knowing the whole situation.
“Why do you let your wife row the kayak?” a passerby asked, not knowing that I was taking a 10 minute break after rowing for 2 hours.
But once the fullness of a thing is seen, through experience and examination, it’s no longer judgement, it’s discernment.
If this is a friend who sees that I always make my wife row the kayak for me, as a servant, then pointing this fact out is not judgemental, it’s discerning.
The blanket statement “don’t judge” misses this differentiation. That’s why, in my books, I say “don’t pre-judge but do post-judge!”. Judge after you know all the facts, not before. Be slow to judge, but in the end, judge.
11. “It’s all about how you feel”
People on the self-improvement, therapy, healing and new-age circuit are usually too preoccupied with how they feel. They were taught “don’t suppress your feelings” and assume this means they should talk about their feelings all the time. It turns into a sort of narcissism where you behave like an emotionally disturbed teenager and everything revolves around your changing emotional state.
Yes, how you feel should be given a due amount of attention because how you feel today is the behavior you manifest tomorrow. Negative feelings should be taken seriously and released through preferred thoughts and actions.
But not everything revolves around how YOU feel. Here are other things that also matter:
How others feel.
What you INTEND.
What you DO.
What you LEARN.
Sometimes I ignore what I feel and act anyway, simply because it’s the right thing to do. I don’t “feel good” about jumping into a lake full of alligators to help a drowning person but I do it anyway. It might feel good for me to smoke, but I quit smoking long ago because it wasn’t good for my health long-term. Not everything is about how I feel.
12. “There are no limits”
There are mental limits and real limits. I recommend letting go of mental limits such as “I can’t afford it” and “I’m not good enough”, but respecting real limits.
Someone in his mid-30s came to me for Coaching, demanding to become a professional soccer player at a big, world-famous club. Impossible? No. Improbable? Yes.
The best age to start with a pro-soccer career is between six and nine years old, not 35. By the time they’re 35, most players have retired.
But some people demand “there are no limits!” because they heard some motivational speaker drill it into them. So instead of aiming for a smaller club to start in, they’ll aim for the super-high goal and in the end achieve neither the small step nor the big one.
13. “Ask the Universe”
“The Universe will deliver it, manifest it, do it. You can ask the Universe”. There are two reasons people overuse the word “Universe”. It deflects from their own inner power and authority, which most people are shy to discover. And they are also shy to talk about their Creator, the Most High. Others keep saying “a higher power”.
I sometimes use these terms, but they are watered down. Reality is that there is a specific Creator, a specific Being that is distinct from humans. Not just some vague Universe – a word that depersonalizes the Creator. Reality is that within you, there is a creative spark of this Creator, a creative power. It’s not really “The Universe” manifesting it, it’s you and your Creator. More specifically, the Creator already manifested everything and its you tuning into what is already manifested. That’s a far cry from some vague “Universe” that is supposed to deliver some cosmic package if you wish hard enough.
And, strictly speaking, it’s not some “higher power”, it’s the highest power, the Most High source. Don’t be shy to name things as they are. Don’t let them teach you that these ideas are outmoded, old-fashioned, etc. Because if you talk like a watered-down person, you receive a watered-down reality.
FTR: A human ranks much higher than all these astral beings people seek guidance from.
14 “I am special”
You are unique and special. But when the term “I am special” or “I am awesome” is used, I’ve often seen it used to cover up failure. A person wants to improve themselves. They fail. They put a “I am worthy” sticker on top of it. But if you really felt special, would you have to affirm it? If you’re so special, fix the issue you set out to fix.
15. “You can only let go of it if you re-experience the pain”
This is not an absolute rule. You can also decide to let go of something or choose not to give it anymore attention and it will go and never come up again.
It is only the stuff that keeps coming up after you let it go, that wants to be re experienced.
16 “You should find your soul mate”
Yes, there are soul mates. But you don’t have to see everyone you meet as a potential or real soulmate. I’ve seen an obsession with this topic do more harm than good. There are many people that you know from before you came here. With them, you feel a special connection. This doesn’t mean you have to marry them or even have a relationship. This doesn’t mean there are no others. This doesn’t mean it’s your only chance.
Sometimes I’ve met someone for only one hour in the train and I knew that I knew them from another place and time before this life. I never saw them again in this life. So what? The problem here is the mind exaggerating the importance of these matters. Allow things to develop in their own time and pace.
17. “Always eat as healthy as possible”
I know people who smoke, drink and eat bad and live a healthy life til they’re old. And I know people who take 20 health supplements a day and are miserable.
Yes, eating somewhat healthy and consciously is good for you. But worrying too much about this, lowers your energy.
18. “Everything is fixed with mental techniques”
Most things can be, but what if not? Then take action. Don’t try to fix things in your mind when a simple piece of action or open communication would quickly solve the problem.
For example you can mediate for a month to make the light go off and you might achieve it or you can walk over and switch if off with your finger. The option that takes less energy is the more efficient option, don’t be stupid.
One person kept doing exercise around getting a pay-raise instead of just asking the boss. Once he asked, the pay-raise was given.
19. “I have discovered the truth”
You can tell someone is either young or immature if they go around proclaiming they’ve discovered the truth or “the best XYZ”.
Life isn’t like that. Life changes. You change. There are only very, very few things that stay with you and are reliable as clockwork. Even if there is a belief or idea that you greatly value today, it’s mostly just for one phase of your life and you’ll feel different about it five years from now.
“My life changed when I converted from X to Y”
“And my life changed when I converted from Y to X”
It’s often not that either X or Y are better or worse but that CHANGE is often the factor that makes a person feel better. If you spent ten years thinking X then of course Y feels like fresh air and vice-versa.
“I already know” is the quickest path to stagnation.
20. “I need to often practice spiritual, mental and physical techniques”.
No. Get on with your life and create beautiful things. Use techniques only as intervention or reset, not as the main activity. I use the techniques that I teach people, but much more rarely than you might think. For example, I voice my intentions a couple of minutes once a week. Not every day.
Doing too much = amateur.
You should only be doing more than usual if you’re stuck in the muck. Then, by all means, practice every day.
There are many more beyond these twenty half-truths. Any time you encounter sayings that they keep throwing around like they’re Gospel, you should question them.
