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You look like who you like

Have you ever noticed how couples who have been together for a long time, tend to start looking alike? Well, you are not fantasizing, its true! A scientific study carried about by the psychologist Robert Zajnoc and his colleagues and published in the paper “Convergence in the physical appearance of Spouses” (1987) details a long-term experiment that shows participants pictures of men and women in their first year of marriage and the same couples after 25 years of marriage. The 110 participants of the experiment are asked to figure out which of the couples are married to each other. Judging by facial features alone it was possible for most of the participants to correctly judge which of the faces were couples. The conclusions of the experiment and further extensive research was that couples facial features usually began to resemble each other the longer they were together. The researchers suggest that this is because of empathy. When you empathize with someone you subconsciously begin mimicking and copying their behavior and facial expressions. 

I agree with this but would like to suggest that there is a little more going on. Because psychologists don’t usually learn or use spiritual terms such as “the law of attraction” and “energy transference” their means of communicating what is really going on is limited. But I have been teaching since 20 years that “You become what you give your attention to”. What you put attention to for extended amounts of time, you become an energetic, vibratory match to. This is why, in my article The Secrets of a Face, I suggested that you can read someones character and personality best after the age o f 40. 

Of course this also reveals that the secret of beauty cannot be found in cosmetics with its multi-billion-dollar hype. You cannot purchase beauty. But if you give your attention to what is beautiful, you will become more beautiful. And you can make it much stronger if your attention is imbued with empathy or appreciation of whatever it is you keep looking at. 

  • Aram

    You look a little bit like Jude Law, Fred :-)

  • RealityCreation

    Is that something you are experiencing or is this a hypothetical question?

  • AhmadMuhhamedAliAbloudlraaman

    Im surprised that you didn’t mention anything about owners who look like their dogs (Or the other way around?). I’ve seen a few great examples when walking around in my city.

    Don’t know how much of this is true but worth a look

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PdBWoFMitfU

  • RealityCreation

    Indeed. I forgot all about this…

  • Steffen Bastian

    It is a hypothetical question regarding the looks of a face which is in this way focused for a long time.

    but indeed, when I now summarize the perceptions of the last 20 people I’ve directly come across lately,
    I see very anxious human beings with much attention captured by “do I look good” or “calm down, better this not to be heard by anyone”. So in this way they are hurting themselves automatically – and while there is no attention left for much else – there is not much real interest in any other person either.
    Especially silence is something they seem not to be able to abide, everything has to get filled with words, even words about the weather, if useful to get rid of silence.
    (I’ll stop now, this goes way of the topic)

    So yes, I also do experience this lately – but this does not seem as a mere projection.